Q: Our son just started at a new school, and we are concerned he may be getting bullied. What should we do?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Bullying is a growing problem and, no thanks to technology, it is no longer confined to school grounds. It can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere.
First, don’t wait for your son to bring it up. If you sense something is wrong, ask directly if someone is bullying him at school. Some bullies will threaten to harm a child if they tell.
Keeping the lines of communication open will reassure your son that he is not alone. Also, watch for non-verbal signs of bullying, such as wanting to stay home, frequently losing lunch money or other unexplained changes in behaviour.
Second, take it seriously. It may take every ounce of courage for your son to admit he is being harassed. Younger children may not have the vocabulary to fully explain what is happening, so be attentive and don’t underestimate or dismiss the seriousness of the situation.
Third, encourage him to stay close to friends whenever possible. Even having one trusted buddy nearby can help deter a bully. While peer support does not replace adult intervention, it can offer a vital emotional safety net and help rebuild your child’s sense of security and confidence.
Finally, take action – discreetly. Your son may fear that if you make a fuss, it will make things worse, so approach the situation with sensitivity. Speak to teachers, school administrators, parents and family friends to ensure your son has the support and resources he needs to feel safe.
If necessary, consider giving him a short break from school until the issue is properly addressed. We also recommend speaking to a counsellor, who can help him process any lingering fear, anxiety or distress.
If your son has been bullied, our team of qualified counsellors is here to help. Visit our website to learn more.
Q: Is there a way to get my spouse to stop trying to “fix” my problems and simply listen? I just need to vent sometimes but whenever I start sharing how I feel, he jumps in with solutions. I am not looking for answers, just a listening ear.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Communicating your feelings and emotions effectively is a delicate art, especially in marriage.
Regardless of gender, personality type or communication style, both partners sometimes just want to be heard without being offered solutions.
When one spouse consistently responds with advice instead of listening, the relationship can start to feel emotionally unsafe. Over time, this can lead to shallow, unfulfilling conversations and a sense of disconnection.
If your spouse tends to respond as a “problem solver” when you are simply venting, thinking out loud or expressing your feelings, try responding honestly and directly.
You may say something like: “When I’m not able to finish my thoughts, I feel dismissed and unimportant. What I really need in this moment is for you to just listen.”
Here are some key principles to keep in mind when discussing feelings with your spouse:
Be respectful and affirming when your spouse takes responsibility for their emotions and behaviour.
Understand that men and women have different communication styles.
Develop conflict resolution strategies before diving into deeper emotional conversations.
Be intentional about adopting a nurturing tone in your discussions – one that supports and strengthens you both.
Commit to making your marriage as fulfilling and joyful as possible.
All of this will lay the foundation for a safe and meaningful self-disclosure. What happens next is up to you and your spouse. If you need guidance navigating these conversations or strengthening your connection, our marriage programmes and counselling services are here to support you in building deeper understanding and trust.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my.
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