Redefining ‘customer is always right’ motto through empathy

“THE customer is always right.”

We have all heard this phrase countless times in business contexts, often accompanied by eye rolls from service staff who have dealt with demanding patrons. But what if we have been misunderstanding this principle all along?

Some years ago, I had an epiphany that transformed how I view customer service. The word “right” in this context does not mean the opposite of wrong; it means something far more profound and actionable.

In many contexts, “right” signifies justification, authority or alignment with truth. In spiritual traditions, it refers to a path aligned with virtue and wisdom – actions that promote well-being and understanding.

When we say someone has “a right to feel their feelings”, we are acknowledging their justified emotional state.

This reframe changes everything about customer service.

Picture this scenario: I am hungry and have not eaten since morning. It is nearly 4pm, my blood sugar is low and my gastritis is acting up. I enter a relatively “quiet” restaurant and order roasted breast meat but am served a drumstick.

When I politely inform the waiter that he got my order wrong, he looks confused. He glances at another waitress, who looks at two others – a visual game of passing the buck. It takes another 10 minutes before my correct order arrives. No one offers an apology.

In this moment, I have a right to feel upset and disappointed not because I am trying to be difficult but because my physical and emotional state – hungry, unwell, having given the correct order – justifies my reaction.

When we say “the customer is always right”, we are not claiming that customers are factually correct about everything. We are acknowledging that their feelings, needs and expectations in that moment may be valid and deserve respect.

A customer’s state of mind and body is “right” – meaning justified – based on their circumstances. If I am hungry and receive the wrong order, my disappointment is not unreasonable.

Customers are not always unreasonable by choice. But when they don’t feel seen, heard or valued, the situation can quickly escalate. Their expectations are legitimate – they simply want their needs met with empathy and professionalism.

Customers arrive with genuine needs and they expect openness, not excuses, when those needs are not immediately met.

New approach to service

Understanding customers as “right” in that deeper sense profoundly transforms how we approach service interactions. Instead of viewing difficult customers as problems, we should see them as people whose justified feelings deserve acknowledgment and resolution.

For anyone providing a service, their internal state is crucial. When they are on duty, their job extends beyond just processing transactions; they need to tune into the customer’s energy and emotional state.

If they are internally thinking “what a pain” or “oh such a fussy customer” while outwardly nodding and promising to look into the problem, a customer can detect their insincerity.

This disconnect between their internal attitude and external behaviour creates what customers recognise as “fakeness”. When they sense this disingenuous response, they become more aggravated and intimidating, not because they are unreasonable, but because they feel dismissed and unheard beneath a veneer of false politeness.

Genuine service standards

This shift requires an internal and external alignment:

Immediate acknowledgement of the customer’s experience

Genuine apologies when things go wrong

Authentic empathy, not just performed concern

Focus on solutions rather than explanations

Internal respect for the customer’s state of mind and circumstances

Poor communication can violate a customer’s “right” even without malicious intent. Recently, I visited a government clinic for the first time and was passed from person to person.

At one point, a staff member gestured vaguely upward with her finger and mumbled something inaudible ending with “up”.

My immediate thought was, “Oh no, I have to go upstairs?” When I expressed irritation, someone nearby clarified: “Look up at the screen.” Only then did I realise they were referring to the display screen above.

This incident illustrates how unclear communication, even without bad intentions, can fail to honour the customer’s right to be properly informed and respected. The staff weren’t being deliberately unhelpful but their poor communication created unnecessary confusion.

When we honour the customer’s “right” to their feelings and expectations, we create a space for genuine connection and resolution. This is not about giving in to unreasonable demands; it is about recognising the humanity in every service interaction.

The customer may not always be factually right but their experience and emotional response is always valid. In that sense, they truly are always “right”.

Nahlana T. Kreshnan is a somatic psychotherapist and life and executive coach. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

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