“I’m just tired”: Malaysian man opens up about financial strain of supporting parents

PARENTS deserve care and support in their elderly years, but for many adult children, this responsibility comes with a heavy price—especially amid the rising cost of living.

A man recently took to Reddit to share his financial struggles, revealing the pressure he faces in allocating a substantial portion of his monthly salary to support his parents.

Believing that many Malaysians are caught in a similar cycle, the man explained that he has been consistently giving money to his parents since he began working 20 years ago.

What started as a RM500 monthly allowance has now ballooned to RM2,000—and he has no idea how to stop.

“I’m just tired. I never understand why so many Malaysians are stuck in this cycle,” he wrote. “I just wish I could disappear from all this financial burden. I’m exhausted, seriously. Sometimes, I feel resentment.”

The man clarified that he had never been a financial burden to his parents—he completed matriculation and pursued higher education at a public university with a full scholarship.

In addition to providing a monthly allowance, he also sponsored a car for his parents and is currently servicing a housing loan with 10 years remaining.

His post struck a chord with many netizens who shared similar experiences in the comments. Several users recounted how their parents or in-laws demanded large monthly allowances despite the children’s financial constraints.

One commenter claimed their in-laws received RM6,000 monthly from their children, as well as a BMW fully paid for by them—yet still found it insufficient.

The user shared a particularly troubling experience from in-laws, involving traditional medicine: “Fell a bit sick, went to a traditional doctor and was recommended expensive medication.

“They ended up spending RM500 a day, and their condition worsened due to body overheating from the medicine. Eventually, the total cost hit RM5,000 over two weeks.”

Several commenters labelled the situation as a form of financial abuse, urging adult children to have open and honest conversations with their parents.

They emphasised that while filial piety is a deeply rooted cultural value, it should not come at the expense of one’s own financial stability and well-being.

“Asian parents can sometimes be insatiable,” one user noted. “It’s sugar-coated as filial piety, but often it’s just a burden that’s passed down without question.”

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